Throughout my life, I’ve met many people who have had different experiences with adoption. Many people have opinions about it, without even having done research on the subject. Everyone has their own story with it, and this is my family’s:

My parent’s first encounters with adoption…

My Dad: My dad first encountered adoption at a young age. His parents chose to adopt a baby girl. Their situation was very unique, and his new baby sister was actually his biological cousin. Their family didn’t have a lot to offer from a material standpoint, but they had much to offer in terms of love. So, my dad encountered adoption at a young age, when his parents adopted a baby girl.

My Mom: I am not completely sure what my mom’s very first encounter was with adoption. What I do know is that my mom raised her younger brother, my uncle, for quite a bit of his teenage years. I actually remember him living with us, and he is my closest uncle as a result.

Our family unit…

My parents, when they reached their mid-twenties, had begun trying to have a baby. Eventually, they were told that they were unable to have children of their own. They knew that they wanted to start a family, however, and they started to consider adoption as an option for them. Soon after, they were matched with a young boy. I’m not sure the exact sequence of events, but they were eventually asked if they would be interested in a baby girl as well. The young children were biological siblings, and their social workers had been trying to find a placement that would be willing to take both of them, so that they would not be separated. They were eager to open their home, and hearts, to these children, and they were soon in the process of adopting them!

Sometime during that process, my mom found out that she was pregnant with me. It was a bit of a surprise to them, as they would be going from having no kids to having three kids in such a short span of time. The adoption had been finalized, and a few months after, I was born. People ask a lot of questions about what it’s like to have adopted siblings, and I always answer the same way: “It’s like having siblings.” I was born into a family of four. Those two young children that my parents adopted, have been part of our family unit longer than I have, and they are my big brother and sister.

A few years later, the three of us kids were in elementary school. We had been asking for another sibling for a while. We all got along pretty well, and we loved the idea of having a baby brother or sister. After a while, my parents started talking to us about what it would look like to adopt again. The three of us kids were thrilled by the concept, and we started the process again. I’m not sure how much time went by, however, we were soon placed with a young boy. I remember that my parents had the opportunity to go and meet him, and us kids had to stay home. Then, to our surprise, they were given the opportunity to bring him home that day, and I still remember meeting my little brother for the first time, that very afternoon.

You may be thinking that this has got to be the end of the story, but it’s not. A few years after we finalized my younger brother’s adoption, my mom received a phone call. A social worker informed us that my younger brother had a biological sister, and they were inquiring as to whether or not we were interested in adopting her as well. We were very excited, and we started the process soon after that phone call. I don’t remember all of the details of the process, but I do remember how excited we were to have another sister.

Awkward people…

We get asked all sorts of questions about our experience. People ask things like…

So, why don’t you have any real siblings?
Do people treat you differently cause you’re not adopted?
So, who are your real parents?

That’s just the tip of the ice berg. We have had all sorts of awkward encounters, because people think it’s something unusual. It’s not typically rude to ask questions, and most of the time it can be kind of funny. However, the answer is always simple. I have four real siblings. They are just as real as anyone else’s and we all grew up in the same house, with the same family, and we are real sisters and brothers. All of the people that we choose to interact with treat us the same, adopted or not. The reason is because adoption is not some strange alien thing. We’re all just kids who our parents chose to raise and love. Finally, my real parents are my siblings real parents. Being a family is about more than blood, it’s a bond and a commitment and that’s exactly what we are, a family.

My experience…

All I know, all I can say, is that I have been blessed with four siblings who I love, and who love me. I’d never change my experience, it’s not something I even consider. This is my family.

As adults…

Nowadays, it’s been pretty much the same. We are siblings, and family, through and through. My older siblings have had the opportunity to reconnect with some of their biological family, and it’s amazing. I don’t know what the experience is like for my older sister, but I do know that it’s like bringing more people into her life. People think that there is an automatic, negative factor there, but there isn’t. It can be unusual for children to have the opportunity to reconnect with their biological families after they go through foster care. So, it is a really amazing thing that they have been able to.

To anyone reading this…

I don’t know what your experiences have been with adoption, if you have encountered it at all. What I do know is that it’s something that has some confusion, or weirdness, surrounding it in society. It’s not wrong to ask questions, but I think if you try, you can understand. In all likelihood, you probably have friends or family who have experiences with adoption. Consider reaching out, and learning more about it. The foster care system is a great thing, but there are definitely struggles surrounding it. Many children don’t ever find a permanent home. Many kids are overlooked for superficial reasons. Many children have a hard time finding a family that can meet their needs. At the least, keep it in your thoughts or prayers. Don’t shy away from it.

Thank you!

Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this.