Throughout my life, I have tried to direct my focus to who I want to be, rather than what I want to do. A lot of what I believe draws me to think that my actions will emanate from my character, rather than my intention. Learning how to discern my path in life has been a process for me, and I thought I’d share some of that process here. Keep reading if you’re interested!
A child’s dream…
I grew up in houses that always smelled like well-seasoned food. I grew up with a mother that taught me history. With a brother who invented crazy things with me. With friends who asked for opinions from me. I was raised to trust my instincts. I was raised to figure things out for myself, and take everything with a grain of salt.
As a kid I was all over the place when it came to choosing what I wanted to do in life. I was often caught up in inventions and business ideas. I decided for a while that I wanted to own a restaurant, and I came up with a menu and everything. Then, I decided that I wanted to join the military, and I joined a program called: Young Marines. Then, I decided that I wanted to be a lawyer, and I got into speech and debate.
Looking back on it, those ideas were all ways that I could work in a job that involved my passions. I realized afterwards that I didn’t actually want to choose one thing. I wanted to leave that open. I knew that none of those job ideas I had would be fulfilling on their own. There is more to life than work, and there is more to me than what I can do in a professional role.
Saying “Yes!” to opportunities…
About the time when I started high school, I began to get encouragement to serve in my local church. I had a lot of choices, but I decided to start with something that my church called: Scream Team. It sounds funny, but Scream Team was a group of youth students who would lead worship for the elementary students. I actually loved it, and found that it was very impactful on my worship process. It made me want to get more involved, and I did.
I started hosting elementary services on Sundays, I led a small group in the youth group, I joined the youth worship band, and I became a prayer partner for the adult services. After about a year of doing this, I was offered the opportunity to participate in a student leadership program, an internship. I was responsible for event planning, administration, and more. It was a great experience, and it really got me connected to the community there.
College…
I applied to three colleges, and was accepted to all of them. Just for some encouragement here, I’ll tell you some personal details. My SAT score was a whopping 980. In case you don’t know, that’s not great, at all. It’s because I took my SAT’s before I took Algebra 2 or Geometry. I had put those off until my senior year of high school, and I was accepted to one college, one public university, and one private university despite it. I was even offered scholarships from two of those three schools. Academic ones, nonetheless. That being said, I did have a decently impressive GPA, which was helpful. However, I think what really made a difference was that I had life experiences outside of school.
Anyway, to make a long story shorter, I decided to go with the private university. They offered me the largest scholarship, and they were located in an area that I liked.
While I was attending, I found myself getting restless. I had gone into school without declaring a major, and I felt like choosing one would back me into a corner. How could I be sure that I’d be happy with my degree at the end of it? Would I really be qualified to work after? What if my interests changed? I wasn’t satisfied with any of my options at school, and I felt like I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of my time there. I asked some friends for advice, only to find that I had different motivations than them. I will admit now, that I was going to school at no monetary expense. However, “free college” didn’t feel free to me. I felt like I was wasting my time, my effort, and my motivation on something my heart wasn’t in.
I decided not to settle…
I went from college to a program called Praxis, that I am enrolled in now. I joined Praxis because I was not interested in expending time or effort on something I wasn’t dedicated to. So, now I’m doing something that is preparing me to work in a full-time position that I decide. Yet, I have the time, energy, and effort to pursue the life that I want in addition to it.
My reason for writing this…
I have known so many people who sit on their dreams. I like to reference a childhood story and say: “No matter how much you wish it, you can’t dream yourself into a swan.” The book The Ugly Duckling follows the story of an ugly duckling that dreams of becoming a swan. Eventually, its’ belief in itself actualizes, and it becomes so. This is not real life. In real life, you have to do more than believe.
Even I, as a person of faith, believe in action. Belief doesn’t actualize itself. What does it matter what you believe if it doesn’t inspire you to act from it? Do you live a life based in inspiration? Do you act on what you believe? Do you figure things out for yourself, rather than accepting what you’ve been told?
Who I want to be…
I don’t know yet, what my future holds, and I hope to live my entire life that way. I don’t know if everything that I believe now, will still be held tightly when I pass away. I don’t know. I don’t need to know.
What I care about is living my life. I care about meeting the standards that I have set for myself. I want to be loving, I want to be free, I want to be passion-led, I want to be healthy, to be patient, kind-hearted, and so much more. I’m not perfect, and I don’t live up to my standards all the time. However, I know that when I wake up tomorrow, and every day, I want to try.
What trying looks like…
Some of the small things I’ve done to hold myself to these standards, were brought on after researching the ineffectiveness of willpower. I believe that willpower is not a great motivator. Unfortunately, most of us would not survive in a real-world Green Lantern story. If our ability to succeed is based in willpower alone, we will fail. So, I develop habits that make me into the person I want to be.
I don’t just try to be more patient, and disciplined. I practice yoga to encourage this.
I don’t just wish to be outspoken. I share my thoughts, and voice my opinion.
It’s about more than belief, it’s about action. It’s about pushing yourself to work towards the life you want to live.
My challenge to you…
Be the kind of person that you admire. Have the quality of character that you expect from others, and one step further. Aim to act on what you believe. Most of all, don’t settle for letting yourself be less than that, hold yourself accountable. Practice your discipline, and act on your dreams and goals. Trust me when I say that it pays off.
Thank you!
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. What are some of your goals? How do you move towards your dreams for your future? Let me know in the comments!