Today I was thinking about some of the people I have called my friends in my life. Then I had a thought: Does what we look for in a friend change as we grow older? So, to test this out, I asked an eleven year old child what the three most important qualities are in a friend, and I compared it to the response I got when I asked a forty-four year old the same question. Here are the results:

According to a kid…

I asked a girl named Anya for the top three things that she looks for in her friends…

What I expected: There was an idea in my head that a kid just cares that their friends are fun. I kind of expected the response to be more oriented toward having entertaining friends or something a bit more surface level.

The response:

They need to be funny.

“I like laughing.” - Anya

They need to be a good listener.

“I like talking.” - Anya

They need to be honest.

“I like honesty, and I can’t trust someone who lies to me.” - Anya

According to an adult…

I asked a woman named Christina for the top three things that she looks for in her friends…

What I expected: I expected most things to relate to shared life experience. For instance: seeking out other moms as friends.

The response:

I have to respect them.

“I cannot be friends with someone that I do not respect.” - Christina

They need to be loyal.

“When friends betray you, the consequences can be bigger than when a stranger betrays you.” - Christina

They should be reliable.

“Life is short, and my time is valuable. I don’t mind investing in people, but I want to know that I am not wasting my time.” - Christina

What do you think?

Were their responses what you expected? What are the top qualities that you look for in a friend? Share them in the comments below!